Thing #187: Napkins & Streamers

Used for a nautical-themed party some years ago, then stowed ever since. I had the napkins out for a more recent event, but then the whole pile gusted right off the kitchen table and onto the floor, so I just recycled everything blue.

Thing #178: Chicago Tribune Special Section

The day after the Chicago Marathon in 2009, the Chicago Tribune published a special section with the names and finishing times of every runner who finished, including me. I saved it!

1,315 days later, after checking my name one last time (yep, still there), I recycled it.

Thing #177: 2009 Chicago Marathon Program

In the spirit of the previous post, I finally recycled the program from a marathon I ran.

Thing #176: Seattle Seahawks Game Program

Event memorabilia is a weird thing for me. I like keeping souvenirs, but then I usually don't have obvious places to store them. I'm never going to make a Seahawks fan shrine in my basement, so I might as well get rid of things like this which hold little sentimental value, and see where that gets me.

It turns out that in this game, Shaun Alexander would rush for 140 yards and 4 TDs and the Seahawks would beat the Cardinals 37-12.

That's Chuck Knox on the cover for some reason.

Thing #160: Metaphysical Street Poetry

Found this in a bin full of random junk. I vaguely remember buying this (hot pink) packet of "poetry" (and drawings) from a homeless guy who was selling his original writing with the help of a local shelter. Or so he said; I guess I was convinced enough that he was okay to buy this packet for $5 or whatever it was.

Here's a quote from an untitled piece:

For instance, our planet Earth is an electron that vibrates on 147 different planes of existence. Each plane has 7 subplanes that vibrate on different frequency demodulations. They occupy the same space and time though they cannot be aware of each other without special aids such as infrared lenses.

Seems pretty clear. I mean, you would make that conclusion walking down the street, or going to the store.

Thing #152: Glove Box Paperwork

Seven repair invoices, one insurance card, one parking meter receipt, three state registration cards, one city sticker application, and one vehicle registration carbon copy, all for a vehicle I no longer own (but keep linking to).

Thing #151: Interstate Map of the Southeastern United States

In college, Paul and Jonathan and I took a spring break road trip from Indiana to Memphis to New Orleans (and then a bunch of other places on the way back). We figured out which highway to take to Memphis, then we figured we'd just drive south and follow signs to New Orleans.

It totally worked. Ah, the carefree days of college (and affordable gas prices).

Then we had a few days to linger in Louisiana, so we picked up this map at a gas station or something. I must have passed it along from that car to the next one, and then to the one after that.

I've never really had any use for the map since, though, so I decided to unceremoniously recycle it. Telling a story is more interesting than keeping a map, anyway.

Thing #142: Savvy Diner Certificates

I received these multi-restaurant gift certificates as a work bonus, in 2005. I've been holding them ever since.

Good news: they never expire!

Bad news: the Savvy Diner company appears to have gone out of business.

Thing #140: Faded Construction Paper

I've had this variety pack of colored construction paper for pretty much as long as I can remember. It comes in handy every once in awhile, but not often enough to keep it lying around when I don't really have a designated place for it.

Thing #136: Notes From High School Girls (From When I Was In High School, Too)

Rediscovered after about a decade in hiding. Written with a variety of colored pens, filled with little drawings of stars and smiley faces and snails, then exquisitely folded into origami ninja stars.

Twenty total, all of the friendly, innocent variety, from three particular friends from youth group. Sometimes two girls would team up to write a single note, which was fun but also tended to affect thematic cohesion.

Most notes centered around fascinating topics such as what was happening during the class period in which the note was being written, or commentary on the particular pen being used in the writing itself. High school!

A few non-incriminating quotes:

"I hope your driving lesson goes well, you seem like a good driver."

"You have to write your elbow story in my yearbook."

"Hey, have you ever had Easy Cheese before?"

"Biology is boring when you have a boring substitute."

"Your randomness is appreciated!"

"Do you ever think of what you're going to be like when you are old?"

"You have a simply outrageous, zany sense of humor!"

"When you get your license you have to take us to Starbucks."

"Thanks for your note, it was um... interesting."

I think the last one is my favorite. Anyway, I decided to shred the pile, which has probably been the toughest shredding yet: these were all hilariously interesting (and encouraging, actually) and now that I've read them again, I'm kind of sad to see them disappear. Makes you think about time, and friendship, and stuff.

Thing #127: Blank Pages

I used a lot of paper in college (that's what we did in those days), but apparently I had a strategic paper reserve that I forgot about.

In a box of old college things, I found this stash of unused notebooks, notebook paper, index cards, stationery, and other pads. There's no way I'm ever going to use all these now, so I decided it would be proper to just recycle the whole big pile and move on.

Thing #126: 2001 Led Zeppelin Calendar

I bought this at a big discount, near the end of 2001. I was hoping to get 12 rockin' posters out of it, because how else would you decorate a men's dorm room than with Led Zeppelin posters?

It turned out that the images weren't poster-friendly, because they all overlapped the fold. It also turned out that in June, Robert Plant was wearing impossibly-tight jeans that still make me uncomfortable in a variety of ways.

Thing #125: Checkbook

Remember Washington Mutual?

Thing #117: Social Security Card

Not my Social Security card, mind you. The one I found at a work site on a Habitat for Humanity trip back in college.

There's an address on the back where you can send in found cards, so I mailed it in. I may be incredibly slow, but I'm pretty serious about following directions.

Oh, and the card was already bent a little bit, so it was easy to photograph it with a nice glare so you can't read the name and number.

Thing #98: Two Dollar Bill

I received this bill at my college graduation, as a reminder to give back to the university; the point was to send this back the following year, then continue to give something (more) each additional year.

Clearly I didn't send it back, because here it was, seven years later. But the instructions were still attached to the bill, so I went ahead and mailed it in.

I'm already getting alumni mail, so so there's no risk of tipping them off to my whereabouts. They know where I live. They always know where you live.

Thing #86: Taylor University Desk Calendar

I must have used this briefly, because there are a few markings in September and October. For example, the glasses icon in blue ink must mean I had an optometrist appointment on September 15th.

Thing #77: Utility Bills

Various old gas, electric and cable/Internet bills; shredded, then tossed.

Also, a reminder that back in 2005, I had home phone service in my apartment, along with DSL Internet. Remember DSL? No? That's okay; 2005 was a long time ago.

Thing #75: Savings Account Statements

A big ol' stack of 'em, going back two addresses ago, to 2005. There's just no reason for me to keep these; I don't think I've ever once needed to refer to any of them.

So, it's more secure to put them through the shredder than to keep them lying around. And maybe not more secure -- but definitely more fun -- to pour an entire bottle of Peach Tea Diet Snapple over the shreddings before throwing them out.

Thing #72: Coin Rolls

I've stashed these for years, but it's time to acknowledge that if I want to cash in coins, I'll opt for the convenience of Coinstar.

Thing #66: Cell Phone User Guide

This manual was 214 pages. I don't recall ever opening the booklet until just now (in order to check the page count), and yet somehow I was able to successfully operate the phone until the screen finally went out after about two years of regular usage.

I'm about halfway through a book called The Design of Everyday Things, and to keep it short (since I don't want to write a whole lot about a book I haven't finished): the fact that I never needed to read the manual is pretty compelling evidence that the SGH-t629 was a well-designed device. Nice work, anonymous Samsung designer(s).